Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Not much to report on. Probably going to be gone the rest of the week, cause Roundball and I are jetting off to Florida for Grandma Ross's funeral.

Last night I watched a show called Hurl! on the G4 network. Hurl! is definitely a sign that the American empire is on the downward slide and that the end times may, in fact, be near. Hurl! is a form of reality gameshow where contestants scarf down insane amounts of food, and then participate in nausea-inducing activities while trying not to vomit (they're aided in their tasks by assistants clothed in hazmat suits). There are two ways of being eliminated- during the food eating rounds you can be eliminated for being the contestant who consumes the least food. During the activity rounds, you can be eliminated if you, well... hurl! The whole show is kind of predicated on the "last man standing" ideal in order to pick a winner. The food portion of the show consisted of watching the contestants scarf down between 3 and 4 pounds of macaroni and cheese before climbing into a set of spherical, steel cages to be spun around and upside down for 5 minutes. Following that, the contestants ate a couple of pounds of pumpkin pie before jumping into the spheres to be spun around some more. Then more pie. Then more steel cage sphere spinning.

In the end, the final three contestants all ended up throwing up, although the winner managed to collect his $1,000 and jump around in celebration a bit before he chucked. That's right. The winner stuffs his face and risks throwing up in front of a national TV audience for $1,000. Cash. (and the losers, of course, do the same for free)
U-S-A!!!!!
You guys really need to check this out. Or maybe you don't. It really is a horrible, but fascinating spectacle. You almost need your own hazmat suit just to watch it. Nevertheless, I predict the sleeper hit of the summer, and it's debuting on the G4 network, of all places (a low rent network which typically focuses itself around videogames and other aspects of geek culture; I have this whole theory about how G4 may evolve to become the MTV of the current generation, but maybe I best save that for a time when I'm not discussing the fact that they're airing shows about vomit).

5 comments:

The League said...

The post-writer's strike summer has beena reminder of just how fast it is we're sliding towards the world that Mike Judge predicted with "Idiocracy". Watching "Hurl!", after watching ABC's "Wipeout!" and an episode of the Tracy Morgan starring "Scare tactics", you can see how easy it is to slip into a world inw hich shows like "Ow, My Balls!" become a reality.

The Pope said...

To make this more interesting:

1. The loser is euthanized (off camera, of course)

2. The loser's parts are used to make the food for the next week's face-stuffings.

3. The contestants are not told that they are now cannibals untilt he end of the show.

4. Hurling increases 5-fold.

I call it "Modest Proposal".

Steanso said...

When you kids say your prayers before bed tonight, remember to thank The Almighty for not leaving Doctor Palka in charge down here.

The Pope said...

If Jonathan Swift is wrong, I don't wanna be right.

And who says I'm not in charge? The Bavarian Illuminati might beg to differ. Not that they exist, mind you.

On a more realistic side note-- has anybody seen "Mad Men" yet. It comes out on DVD this week, and I've heard rave reviews, some comparing it (favorably) to "The Wire".......Need to check it out.

Kim said...

Hey Jason,

I'm very sorry to hear about your Grandma. I hope you are doing okay, and please give my regards to your dad. Look forward to seeing you when you get back from Florida.
Kim