Friday, December 31, 2004

new year's eve

Sorry for 2 crappy posts in 2 days, but I have to go home and clean up my house after last night's crack practice (and the tsunami got nothing on Crack) for a Mono E party tonight. Dear lord. Peace out, everybody, and have a good New Year (and remember, if you can't be good- be fast).

There will be no further transmissions until year end damage assessment and control has been carried out.

Thursday, December 30, 2004

Today's entry will be short. Christian, our paralegal's son, is visiting the office today and gets very cranky when I do anything on the computer other than play Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles with him. Twice already this has ended in tears, and I am powerless to control it. Strange how I have learned to deal with district court judges, and yet the logic of dealing with a 4 year old completely eludes me.

Wednesday, December 29, 2004

So I'm just sitting here waiting for some client to show up and it's after Christmas and I have a cold. I think this guy got busted in Williamson County with coke. Here's a word to the wise- if you're gonna do coke, it's worth making the drive to Travis County. In Georgetown you're a satanic infidel if you get caught with coke. In Austin, if you get caught, you're just a schmuck who didn't know how to keep the party under control.

It has (grudgingly) come to my attention that some of the people who have been soiling my blog with their comments may warrant a word or two of introduction (in order to deprive them of the safety of anonymity, if nothing else).

Jeff Wilson, aka CrackBass, is a former Travis County prosecutor, husband of the sometimes feisty but mostly mild-mannered Mandy, and my current neighbor. Jeff's an ornery little chap who enjoys most forms of alcohol and loud music. He also enjoys hairbrained home improvement projects and plays bass in my aforementioned musical experiment group, Crack.

Lee Thweatt is a former high school and college roommate, retired (or resigned or whatever) Marine, father of 2 1/2, and husband of the lovely and talented Sarah Duncan Thweatt. We're all backing Lee as the next great hope for bringing the Democratic Party back into favor in Texas. Before you laugh at that, talk to Lee. With our help, he's gonna make it happen, folks.

Ryan Steans is my semi retarded adopted brother from Phoenix. He spends most of his days running around his back yard in his helmet, trying to pet his helper dog, Melbotis, who fears Ryan and spends his days fleeing from his clumsy master. Ryan is married to Jamie, who didn't realize the extent of Ryan's disability when she married him. She spends her days trying to coax Ryan into taking baths and using the toilet in the house via the promise of shiny Superman toys and funny books.

These are the introductions for now. I have heard rumblings that there may be other people out there surveying the blog, who are not posting comments (Eddie and Gary, I'm looking in your direction). This isn't a site for freeloaders, so chime in. Consider it the cost of admission. If I find ya skimpin', I'll come to your house and bust your kneecaps.

Also this:

Does this mean that this earthquake is going to make those of us who survived it live longer? Less time in the day = more days for Jason to live through.

Tuesday, December 28, 2004


The enormity of the disaster with the tsunamis in the far east has finally hit me. I mean, I know the death toll has likely exceeded 40,000 in 8 countries, but now this?

I mean, sure, I already knew that this whole thing was, like a tradgedy or whatever, but up to this point I had thought that most of the people who died were unattractive and poor. But can someone tell me what kind of a world we live in when God can just reach out and strike down beautiful, rich people like supermodel Petra Nemcova and her photographer boyfriend? (not really sure of that dude's name b/c he's not really that famous) I mean, sure, it sucks that all of these other people died, but I mean, let's face it, they were probably going to die sooner or later after being attacked by a wild boar or getting the bird flu or something like that anyways. People who live in that part of the world seem to always be dropping like flies from civil war or malaria or something.
Petra, on the other hand, is in the prime of her life and deserves to be perched on a tsunami-proof yacht or something. I mean, this woman has brought joy to untold millions through her work with the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit corporation.
Now I suggest that everyone whoever mastrubated or planned on mastrubating to a Petra Nemcova Sports Illustrated layout get out your wallet and send that woman a couple of dollars. I know it's your hard earned cash, but this is an emergency, and generosity is probably the only thing separating us from the monkeys, commies, and other lower life forms. Make sure you send the money care of Sports Illustrated so it doesn't get wasted on those ugly people. Sure, Petra's got money, but if she has to pay her own medical bills, she'll have less cash, and that really isn't fair.
This guest blog provided by Ryan Steans.

Monday, December 27, 2004

Post X-mas

Christmas is over, and I have returned to an office full of clients whose holidays were apparently not filled with Yuletide cheer. At least two of them have spent their Christmas in the nurturing hands of the Travis County Correctional Complex. Nothing like Christmas Eve on D Block. All of them want to know why I wasn't returning their phone calls on Christmas Eve.
On the up side, one of our younger clients had his carjacking case dismissed the day before Christmas, so that lucky little son of a gun was out just in time to spend the holidays with his heavily armed, drug dealing family. God bless us every one.
Kudos to Erin Stewart for writing me to let me know she's alive. Erin's one of the good guys, so let's all give her a round of applause.
I went to church on Christmas Eve with la familia, and although I've long since given up any strong Christian beliefs, I think going to church was still a good thing. For one thing, I like the music. Those hymns and orchestrations were all written and meant to be played in a church, and there's nothing like hearing a choir and/or orchestra in a church, particularly at Christmas time. Also, I still love church for the tradition. It reminds me of where I come from and the beliefs that are central to my family's history. Although I may have some issues with some of the metaphysics and cosmology of the Christian faith, it's hard to argue with much of the morality. Most of it, when you really pay attention to the Bible, boils down to treating other people with respect and displaying generosity. Sure, people warp the shit out of it to serve their own ends, but that's (sadly) inevitable with any institution on power over a long period of time. Christianity is, for the most part, a clever mechanism used to keep mankind in line by promising life after death if one leads a moral life. It lends comfort and encourages us to care for one another, and it has survived for thousands of years by way of its tradition and message. Our particular church, the Lutheran church, has also served as a keystone and reference point for my family's sense of morality since before we immigrated from Finland.
Anyway, as long as the church isn't used to oppress anyone, I think it's fine by me (of course, there may be questions as to how a religion can be non oppressive if it damns nonbelievers to hell, but I'll leave that for some other time).
OK. I gotta do some work. Point being, I think I actually enjoy going to church at Christmas, even if I now feel more like an observer than a participant.
Peace out.

Thursday, December 23, 2004

Christmas Eve Eve

Well, I'm at the Steans family mansion as I write this, and hopefully the parents are all tucked into bed.
It's always weird travelling back to my folks' house in beautiful Spring, Texas. I never lived here with my family for anything more than a couple of months at a time (they moved here during my senior year of high school while I stayed in Austin), and I guess because of that, Spring has always been a place that has existed for me outside of my normal space-time continuum. Spring is the place I come to in order to visit the family while my "real life" gets put on hold. In my parents' house, all times become one- past and present intersect constantly and sometimes violently here. I can be rooting through a drawer looking for some toothpaste and inadvertantly come across a photograph of one of my best friends from 6th grade or come across some angst-ridden notebook of high school song lyrics/poetry while hunting for the Yellow Pages. To add to the confusion, upon returning here, we (like many families, I would surmise) tend to quickly fall back into the parent-child and older-younger sibling relationships which were established in childhood. When I return to the folks' house, suddenly I'm not a 31 year old lawyer capable of bearing the responsibility of holding someone's legal future in his hands- instead I'm just Karen and Rick's kid. The parents' house is littered with relics of the past and times lost in the fog of history, but it's usually within 48 hours of returning to my parents' house that I have my first dream of some long forgotten friend, love interest, or hazy event that I never quite came to terms with from years past. History is always hot on my heels at Steans Manor, and the life-suspension-introspection effect that comes with staying here can be a bit disorienting.

In other news, I got an email today from Suzannah Sennetti today who said she would be in Houston over the Christmas break, so I'll have to try to catch up with her. Suzannah is a good friend and crazy kid who moved to Washington, D.C. a while back, possibly to become a spy, although she won't admit that to me. You never know what's going to be going on with Suzannah (she once talked me into shoving her furniture into my closet for 4 months when she decided to run off to India for awhile), so this could be interesting.

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

Christmas is almost upon us. I'm not sure how much blogging will get done over the holidays. I spent last night hopping from store to store doing last minute shopping. I think the trick is to incorporate your Christmas shopping with your normal errands (at the stores you already frequent) so it doesn't feel like that much extra work. I'm pretty sure that adult videos are on most people's wish list, anyway.

Christian, our paralegal's son, is at the office today. I don't know how old he is, but he's at that stage where he walks and talks, but a good deal of the time he doesn't make much sense. Anyways, this kid is crazy for Christmas, and it's a good thing to see the ol' holiday through some noncynical eyes. His first present was a lawn mower toy which makes popping sounds and has multicolored balls that bounce up and down. Christian got in a good 15 minutes of mowing the office floors before his mom took that particular piece of Christmas joy away from him. Damn mom.

I'm feeling a little bit of the holidays blues today. I'm not sure why. I think it's because I'm just not feeling all that positive as 2004 draws to a close. This has been a rough year, with the election and the war, some financial hardships, troubles with some friendships, and so forth. It just seems that a lot of us are just trying to hang on these days instead of thriving or flourishing (or maybe it's just me, and I'm projecting this feeling on other people, but that's equally depressing). Given the war and the reelection of a president who seems to have no interest in health care, the enviroment, our role as peacekeepers in the world community, and equality for all people (see Guantanamo detainees and gay marriage), this has also been a year when I have truly begun to lose faith in my country and its people. On the up side, I've still got a lot of good friends, a great dog, 2 good bands, a family, and a job. Maybe I should quit whining. Still, it seems odd that we are celebrating a holiday though our stereotypical consumerism when people are being blown up in Iraq while they try to eat lunch (by other people who are so enraged by our presence that they are willing to blow themselves up). It's all just very confusing.

Religious traditions aside, I think the holidays should be about peace, generosity, and hope, so I hope ya'll go out and get some of that stuff for your holiday (wait- maybe that's what the religious traditions have in common).

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

Today I tried to sleep in late because I only had one case to work on, this being X-mas week and all. Extended sleep efforts were hampered by a hungry 3 legged dog who jumped up on the bed and kept laying across my throat (thereby constricting my airway) until it was finally easier to get up and feed her than to continue to fend her off.

Christmas is right around the corner, and I am nowhere near ready. Still have shopping to do, and I need to be in Houston in 2 days. Usually this is the point where I get a little grumpy about the whole hassle of the holidays, but this year I am determined to avoid the stress, even if it means giving out gift certificates or something sort of lame like that.

I woke up this morning to a CNN report that 22 U.S. and Iraqi personnel were killed in a mortar attack in Mosul, and 60 something injured. Meanwhile the CIA confirms the identity of Bin Laden on a new Al Qaeda propaganda tape, calling for the fall of the Saudi Arabian govenrment ( Stupid, stupid war. Someone remind me why we're in Iraq.
As if that's not enough, Bush is getting ready to privatize and/or gut social security, and no one seems to be able to even pin him down on how he's going to fix/replace it (
I want a new government for Christmas.

Not too much else to report.

Monday, December 20, 2004

mono weekend

Well, the weekend has come and gone, and I'm still hurting from it.

Friday night the Mono Ensemble played at the Carousel Lounge, and I think that, for the most part, a good time was had by all. For those of you who have never been to the Carousel, it's a quaint little place on the east side with a carousel theme and a giant elephant behind the stage. The Mono Ensemble had a near miss when it was realized that Jason had neglected to bring any micropohones (it briefly looked like we were going to be doing the Mono Mach 7 Jazz Odyssey), but we were bailed out at the last moment by our fine musical bothers, San Saba County, who showed up right before we played with some mics.
The music was a bit sloppy at times, but decent enough, given the band's level of intoxication. The crowd seemed to have fun. San Saba Co. put on a fine set with a good mix of rock, country, and some really cool bluegrass numbers (makes me realize how much I need to practice my banjo).

Saturday night was the Festivus party. The band had a good time playing, but we were even more trashed on Saturday than we had been on Friday, so I think there were probably some major rough spots (although everyone seemed to enjoy it). Throughout the evening, Eric's hat kept sliding lower and lower over his eyes in direct proportion to his level on intoxication, so that by the second set, most of the cues that he was giving me came in the form of stumbling away from the mic or tilting his head back to peek out from under his hat and make sure the rest of the band was still there. The Mono Ensemble played for a good, long while, and then Crack took over and rocked awhile. Crack did a decent job of rocking, but I was just so damn tired and drunk by the time that I got on the drums with them that I didn't last too long. Someone else took over drum duties when I bailed, though, and Crack rocked on until about 5:00 a.m. (with some additional help from the Mono Ensemble).

Thanks to Mandy and Jeff for hosting. It was a good time. I have heard rumblings that there were some non-music related moments where the party got a little bumpy, but thankfully, I was blissfully ignorant and just rocked my way through the fog until about 4:30 a.m., when I stumbled back across the street and collapsed into my bed.

Also, thanks to Jackie for complimenting my blog at Festivus. Maybe it was just the beer talking, but she said she really enjoyed the blog, and let's face it, as a blogger, I need all the support that I can get (hmmmm... maybe blogging isn't the only area of my life requiring that level of neediness, but I'll take it where I can get it) .

Sunday was only about half a day because of how late I got up. Sunday involved a lot of sleeping, some eating with the Wilsons and the party dregs who couldn't drive their sorry asses home the night before (I'm looking at you, Rami Reid). Overall, good weekend.

Friday, December 17, 2004

Hey. Well, Mono E is playing tonight at the Carousel Lounge with San Saba County. Come one, come all. We're looking forward to a fun night of music, if I can just get through this workday first.

Last night we had band practice, and a large part of our time was spent practicing hand to hand combat moves in case some maniac rushes the stage like they did those guys from Pantera. Mono E ain't going out like bitches.

Work was pretty uneventful. They want to put one of my guys in jail for assaulting some woman, but the woman that he allegedly assaulted is a white supremacist speed freak from the Aryan Nation, and I don't think she'll make a very credible witness once I cross examine her about the day to day activities of her biker gang and her prior felony record. Nonetheless, the prosecutors are convinced they have to defend this damsel in distress, so we're off to the races.

Now for a quick rant. Over the weekend and APD officer and her husband (who was also retired from APD) were killed in an alocohol related motorcycle accident. Shauna Jacobson was reported to have a blood alcohol level of .33, which is more than 4 times the legal limit and well on the way to alcohol poisoning, and her husband was also highly intoxicated, with a blood alcohol of 3 times the legal limit at .24.
Now TABC is threatening to yank the bar owner's liquor license for continuing to serve liquor to Kurt Jacobson after he road his motorcycle into the bar and peeled out. Keep in mind that this was an APD event with something like 100 officers in attendance. What the hell is the bartender supposed to do in that situation? None of the other police officers at the party told this guy he shouldn't be drinking any more, let alone driving, and now we're going to punish the bar owner? I know that we should encourage people who serve alcohol to do so responsibly, but who do you call when it's the cops who are out of control? It's certainly understandable that the bartender thought things were going ok if the 100 police officers at the event didn't do anything to try to rectify the situation. In addition, the entire APD fundraising event was apparently part of some type of progressive party where the officers were travelling form location to location while consuming alcohol. This strikes me as the height of hypocrisy, coming from an organization which receives taxpayer dollars to fund its DWI taskforce, and which regularly throws people in jail for DWI with little or no more evidence than the faint smell of supposed alcohol on someone's breath.
The TABC case against the bar owner is a witch hunt in a situation where APD is throwing up a smokescreen to cover once again for irresponsible, illegal behavior. Instead of finding out why the hell none of their officers tried to get these people not to drive home (and/or tried to get them to quit drinking), TABC and APD are going to go after the guy who offered to help out APD by allowing them to hold their event in his bar in the first place. Now I'm a defense attorney and I'm not especially intimidated by the police, but even I would have been hesitant to start telling a roomfull of cops that they were cut off and were too drunk to drive.
I guess it's cookies and punch for the APD Christmas party.

Thursday, December 16, 2004

Not a lot of time for blogging today. I saw Buttercup last night at the Church of the Friendly Ghost in East Austin. Buttercup was pretty cool. They had a spinning wheel which determined your cover charge and they made us all walk across the street to Christmas carol in the Section 8 housing at the set break. Their music was pretty cool. Fairly straightforward folk/art rock, with really good 3 part harmonies. Charlie Roadman described it as "tasteful", and he may be right. The Church of the Friendly Ghost is an old church on the east side which has been turned into a music/art space. It was pretty cool, but BYOB. Really homey feeling with Christmas lights and a fireplace.

Kudos to Reed for going with me. We had a pretty good time.

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Last night Austin dropped down to a chilly 19 degrees, which is already colder than it ever got last year. This morning I had no cases in court, so I got to sleep in and enjoy the cold, which was very awesome, but it's left me feeling drowsy. Or maybe that's because I stayed up way too late with Weed Saw again last night. We watched a particularly cool Tori Amos video from her last tour.

Tori Amos is kind of a headcase from what I can tell in her interviews, but she is an amazing musician and performer. Her songs have fascinating structures to them, and she finds methods of combining phrases which sound completely different into single, coherent songs in a way that few people outside of the jazz arena seem capable of pulling off. I like her lyrics, and she finds ways of powerfully sublimating things that would drop most artists off into a chasm of ridiculous sentimentality or crass flippancy. Also, she surrounds herself with Matt Chamberlain and Jon Evans, an amazing rhythm section, and I think it speaks volumes about her pursuit of perfection that she has chosen such amazing musicians to play with. OK, when she opens her mouth to talk she often sounds like a nut, but maybe it's divine nuttiness.

I am supposed to attend a performance by Buttercup tonight at the Church of the Friendly Ghost in East Austin. Buttercup is a band founded by Charlie Roadman's brother. Charlie Roadman is a fellow Trinity alumnus, defense attorney, and grade A rock star in his own right. Charlie produced a video for his brother's band a while back in which Buttercup put on a performance at an art show back in San Antonio. The band played from a location which was hidden from view, but live video feeds showed the band (or parts of the band) on monitors located in oil drums and placed in other strategic locations around the venue. Looks like a bunch of creative guys, and I've meant to see them several times, so hopefully tonight will pan out.

I have to go to the courthouse now to try to get Judge Kocurek to set a bond on a case that she will never set a bond on (because the client quit reporting on his probation for the last 6 months), but the family has money and they want us to try.

I'm back. Kocurek didn't set the bond. On the up side, the judge and I had a lovely chat about her children and the upcoming holiday parties. On the down side, junior gets to sit in jail until his hearing, at which time Judge Kocurek will undoubtedly send him off to rehab. By the way, I highly recommend the National Geographic series, Seconds to Disaster. If you love disasters (and I know you do), then tune in to see the 20/20 hindsight reconstructions of human errors and engineering flaws which invariably lead to spectacular cataclysms.

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

Not too much going on today, so far.

Another good practice with Crack last night. Crack is an interesting experiment in the arena of post modern punk jamband noise jazz. Although none of us really knows how to play the respective instruments which we have taken up with Crack, we seem to ebb and flow nicely together and occasionally express genuine emotions and ideas amidst the musical chaos. We play at each rehearsal with boldness and curiousity, unafraid and most importantly, completely without shame. It all seems to work as long as we listen to what one another are doing.

After Crack practice Sigmund and Jeff floated back across the cardrive to Wilson manor to go watch Zardoz (sp?) while I watched a quick episode of Cowboy Bebop and then drifted off into a wintery sleep while staring at my new lava lamp night light and listening to Sketches of Spain with Cassidy. Since I had been up until past 2:00 a.m. with Weedo the night before, I just couldn't handle a movie with Sean Connery and a giant, floating head.

Monday, December 13, 2004

Well, another weekend come and gone.
I'm pretty sure that Crack practice was good on Friday, although I must admit that the memories are a wee bit hazy. My fellow Crack members are progressing incredibly quickly on their chosen musical instuments, and I fear that I may have to actually start practicing soon on the drums if I want to keep up with them. Cassidy tried to join us on some tunes with some background howling. Not sure if the mics picked that up or not.

Saturday I took Cassidy to the dog park and met a guy in a graduate school named Alton (who had a collie) and a guy named Mike who was on probation out of Williamson County for unknown crimes (who had a pit bull pup named Blue). The dog park was cool, and I think Cassidy had a blast. The dogs tend to divide and subdivide into little packs. I'm totally fascinated by watching the dogs interact. Some guy showed up with a monstrous great dane, and it lapped the park a bunch of times with like 30 dogs following it. Cassidy held her own, literally running with the big dogs for a good hour or so before tiring herself out and collapsing on the floorboard of the car for the drive home.

Saturday night the mysterious Chris Griego came by. We drank disgusting mixed drinks that Chris made out of Gatorade and vodka, watched part of Red Dawn, smoked a couple of cigars, played some Playstation, and Chris told me of his plans for Christmas lighting on his house. I may eventually have to drive up to Round Rock to see if he ever put them up.

Sunday was Mono E practice. We worked on a couple of new songs for the upcoming holiday gigs and brushed up on a few old songs. Practice was pretty smooth.

I also pulled my old computer out into the kitchen so I could jack it into the phone line and do some online shopping for the holidays. God bless the internet when it comes to Christmas. I mean, for all of the internet porn and federal wiretaps that the internet brings into existence, it's nice to know that it can be helpful sometimes, too.

And in my final, little thought for the day... How about that Viktor Yushenko? Man, just when I think that American politics have reached an all time low, the Ukranians go and start poisoning each other. I'm not sure if they're more evil with their political machinations, or just more straightforward. It really mostly makes me wonder what kind of crap Americans do behind the scenes that we never hear about. At any rate, kudos to Viktor for taking one hell of a kick in the jimmy and still having the juevos to get back up and stay in the race. Those ex-Stalinists really know how run a government.

Friday, December 10, 2004

Well, today I have to go to a funeral in San Marcos. One of my friends and colleagues from the courthouse, Liz Piper's mother has died, so I'm going to go to the funeral to support her.

Funerals are one of those strange events in life that I never know exactly what to think about. On the one hand, I think they're good and understandable and a natural part of the grieving process. On the other hand, they seem to play into some kind of morbid curiosity that we never talk about. Funerals, in some sense, are expected to be an event which summarizes the life of the deceased, and there's often an attempt at some kind of superficial evaluation of the life of the deceased through the quality and number of the eulogies and a sheer headcount of the number of guests in attendance. Of course, looking at funerals that way is stupid, but I can never get past the feeling that some of that goes on. This is why when I die I want to co-opt an idea from my brother and simply have my ashes blasted out of a cannon into Town Lake. No muss, no fuss.

What else....? I watched the movie version of Cowboy Bebop last night and was fairly impressed. I'm not an ardent supporter of Japanese anime on the whole, but I have always liked the TV show of Cowboy Bebop b/c of 1) the music, 2) the way it manages to usually stay fairly understated in the midst of fairly action-packed, dramatic events (in keeping with it's noir heritage), and 3) because it makes interesting leaps into the realm of science fiction that manage to appeal to both my desire to see some far out fantasy stuff and to have those same far out fantasy objects and events grounded in a rational universe (i.e., they do a pretty good job of explaining why the wierd things happen which occur on the show). Also, there is kung fu and spaceships which are two of my favorite things for movies and tv shows. I recommend the movie, anyway.

I also purchased Red Dawn on DVD for $7 at Wal-Mart. As a kid, this was not only the first PG-13 movie I ever saw, but it also firmly implanted the longstanding idea in my head that the Soviets were going to invadeAmerica at any given moment. Surely it would be up to me and my junior high friends to fend off the invaders with bb guns and sling shots. I literally remember having dreams about Soviet tanks rolling down our streets in Austin after having seen this move. Back in those days, of course, I didn't realize that I lived in a country which was much more prone to be the invaders than the invadees.

On a different note- don't even try to watch the Sci-Fi Channel's original movie, Anonymous Rex. I am embarrased that I ever held out any hope for this movie and I will speak of it no more.

Work is the same. I'm trying to wrap up a case of criminal trespass for a client who was caught wandering the steam tunnels underneath UT with a few of her friends. Now ordinarily this case wouldn't be a big deal, but this client and her friends were caught screwing around down there only a day or two before one of the more notorious Bush daughters was scheduled to graduate from UT (apparently the Secret Service got grumpy). Anyway, it's a silly case, and all will end well, but the Daily Texan keeps calling my home to ask for comments. How did those little intrepid student reporters find out I was on the case and get my home number? Grrrrr.....

Well, that's all for now. This is a Friday blog, so u kids have a good weekend if u don't hear from me.

Thursday, December 09, 2004

Nothing blogworthy happened today. I am feeling a bit under the weather (or at least irritable), so I believe there will be no further blogging today.

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

Nothing too adventurous in the life of Steanso today. I seem to have been pissing off some prosecutors over the last two days, which is mildly troubling because some of these persecutors double as my friends, but hopefully I haven't pissed anyone off without good reason or any meritless case. Anyway, things seem to be generally turning out well for the clients.

Anyway, I'm just really busy with work. Maybe I need to host some sort of contest. My brother does that on his blog and it seems to take up some space. Unfortunately, I'm not sure enough people are reading this to make make a contest feasible.

My friend and bandmate, Frank, has just returned from China with a little girl that he and his wife adopted. That blows my mind. I remember when I adopted a dog, and I thought that was stressful.

Well, that's it for the moment. I will add more later if I have time and if anything interesting happens.

Tuesday, December 07, 2004

Happy Pearl Harbor Day

Well, in accordance with some suggestions, I have tried to modify the comments section on my blog so that anyone may post comments, and not just people with their own blog sites. Try it out and see if it works.

The Wilsons should return from their ski trip today, undoubtedly with stories of drunken revelry and fun in the snow. This also means that Crack should be reuniting in short order for some more excursions into the world of musical vandalism.

The Mono Ensemble is gearing up for the holiday season with a show at the Carousel Lounge on Dec. 17th and our annual Festivus performance at Wilson manor on the 18th. We are looking forward to seeing our friends, family, and anyone who inadvertantly wanders onto this blog site at these two shows. For those of you who have never heard the Mono E, I would say that we are a little difficult to describe. We have a few fairly structured songs and some covers, but we kind of specialize in stream of consciousness rock (as opposed to Crack, who specializes in unconscious scream rock). The Mono Ensemble has good gigs and a few not so good gigs, but we all love music a whole lot, and if u love it too, u will have fun if u come to see us (I think). Playing with the Mono E is like being on a sports team where, on a good day, all the players can anticipate each other's moves b/c they've been playing together a long time and love the game. Playing with Crack is like playing on a team with a bunch of thugs who are willing to beat up the other team's players just to get a reaction from the crowd.

How do people find things to rant about on these blogs? Wanna know what's pissing me off right now? It's been raining quite a bit, and all of these leaves keep getting tracked into my house by myself and me dog. I have a ceramic tile floor, so it's easy to sweep, but a day after I've swept, it's back to looking like the inside of a hamster cage. Anyway, I don't see how ranting about this is going to help.

Monday, December 06, 2004

Man, I'ze busy again with little or no time for bloggin'. I got to be in court in half an hour to defend some little lady accused of beating her boyfriend. She says he beat his own self up. I do not know what to think, but methinks the boyfriend may not show up for trial, so I'm all ready to kick some ass, anyways.

Weekend was real horrorshow, me droogs, with a showing of the Big Lebowski at Anna and Jay's, followed by some compulsory bowling at the Westgate Lanes.
Furthermore, a fairly successful rehearsal by the infamous Mono E (which degenerated into another AC/DC schlock jam, but more about that later), and a few lovely outings with Miss Cassidy, including a trip to the park, during which time I discovered that Cassidy finds some sticks appropriate for fetching, while others are not.

Well, that's it for now. I just talked to Jeff Wilson on AIM, which is weird b/c he's supposed to be on a skiing trip. Things must be getting slow.

Out for now. By the way, it is confirmed. Mono Ensemble will play at the Carousel Lounge on December 17th, sometime between 7:00 and midnight. Come one, come all, to witness the misguided miracle which is the Mono Ensemble.

Friday, December 03, 2004

Busy Friday

Man, I been busy today. I only got back to the office a few minutes ago, and it's already 4:30!

Today, one of my clients who is only 18 got sent to prison for 2 years. He was already on probation for punching a cop, and then he got busted with some crack on school grounds. When I asked him about the arrest, he couldn't remember it because he had been "too high". Yowza. Hopefully no one tries to steal all of his gold teeth while he's in the pen.

The Wilsons are out of town on a ski trip this weekend, and I'm not sure what I'm gonna do if I can't go sliding through their door when I'm bored like some kind of oversized Kramer (although come to think of it, it's usually Jeff Wilson who's sliding throughb my door, and not the other way around).

Well, that's it for now. I'm not sure if I'm gonna blog on weekends, so have a good one.

Thursday, December 02, 2004

Holiday Kickoff

Well, not a lot of legal news to report. I have, however, officially completed decorating my house for the holidays. I've got 4 sets of multicolored light nets tossed over the shrubs, a wreath slapped onto the front door, and a lightly decorated fiber optic Christmas tree, the holiday equivalent of a lava lamp. Cassidy and I are festive as hell. Jeff Wilson will soon be hosting his annual Festivus party at his house across the street, and my band will do make their traditionally drunken effort at entertaining folks for an hour or two.

By the way, Cassidy is my 3 legged dog who is a little bit psychic and able to jump and run at tremendous speeds, given the fact that she has only 3 legs. She is a good dog. I think that in a past life she may have been an inmate who was wrongfully convicted for crimes that she did not commit.

Now for a short rant. I object to any endorsement of VH-1's new series of kitch shows which seem primarily geared toward ridiculing the music of the 80's and 90's (metal, boy bands, or whatever). I say this not because the all of the music from that time period was particularly good, but because MTV and VH1 crammed that crap down our throat for 2 decades (mostly due to cushy licensing and marketing agreements), and most of us knew it was crap even when it was broadcast as new. How much time did the average person spend sitting through (or channel surfing through) crappy songs and videos while waiting for just one decent song to come on? Now these stations (owned by the same parent company) are trying to laugh it all off, making fun of the artists who created this schlock, when they were championing these same people years before. How about trying to put some decent art and artists on your stations in the first place? VH1 and MTV, I hated you for showing crappy bands back then, and I hate you for trying to make fun of them today. I'm not letting you off the hook by saying, "Can you believe how stupid we were to like these bands back then?" because most of us knew they were terrible in the first place, and MTV and VH1 are still cramming their airwaves with overproduced, overstylized garbage which has little or no artistic merit underneath the glitter.
End of rant.

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

Day 2

My second day of blogging. Hmmmmm......
Well, I am pressed for time today because I have to run back to the courthouse to do discovery for some client who allegedly broke into a bunch of cars and stole a bunch of stereos. They call it "Engaging in Organized Criminal Activity". I call it the East Austin entrepeneurial spirit.

Had lunch with Jeff Wilson, my neighbor and fellow Crack member. Jeff is well known for the festive holiday lighting on his house, his koi pond, and his ability to channel demons through the use of a bass guitar and a distortion pedal. Also dining with us was Gary Mayer (sp?) of The Amazing Letdowns fame. Gary's band is currently scheduled to play a gig with some guy named Banjo Joe who apparently gears his act towards children and incorporates some form of multi-media light show. The first time I ever saw the Letdowns, some drunk woman pulled down her pants (and underwear) and shot the bird at the Letdowns' appreciative, applauding audience. Given Banjo Joe's target audience, hopefully this show will be different.

It looks like my band could potentially have a gig coming up as well, but I'm not posting anything about it until it's a done deal.

Tuesday, November 30, 2004

How Do I Do This?

This is my first ever blog (if it indeed works). I begin my blog largely with the hopes that I may rectify some of the indignities which my reputation has suffered under the slanderous assault of my supposed brother (I suspect an adoption), Ryan Steans.
What will I write about?
First allow me to introduce myself. My name is Jason and I am a criminal defense attorney. My day has been slow today due to the a lack of court settings and the absence of the boss. My slow day has thus far consisted of meetings with: 1) a self-proclaimed child pornography "addict" who has no charges currently pending, but who has begun to suspect that the police are tailing him and sending him fake contest announcements (I gave him the phone number for our "sex shrink" and sent him on his way), 2) a man with a DWI whose cousin was shot and killed by one of our other clients (I warned him of the possible conflict of interest, but he wanted to hire us, anyway), and 3) two Cubans who are supposedly construction workers, but who arrived in expensive clothes and Rolexes and pulled up in a fairly new Mercedes. I have another meeting scheduled in an hour with some hyperactive 19 year old girl who assures me that her case is going to be "huge" and that it involves embezzlement, the DEA, and a whole lot of people who are trying to rat on each other. If you are wondering about confidentiality issues, let me point out that I've told you no names and that I could be making all of this up. But I'm probably not.

Well, that's it for my first entry. We'll see how this goes.