Monday, January 31, 2005

For about the 3rd time in as many weeks, my blog entry has been erased when I tried to publish. This makes for shorter, angrier blogs, b/c I don't feel like typing a whole new one when I just got done typing 4 or 5 paragraphs.
Anyhoo, kudos to the Iraqis for voting. Imagine voting even though someone is threatening to shoot you or you blow you up if you attempt it. Most of the people I know don't vote if there's a possibility that the process might make them miss part of a rerun of Friends. It's nice to see something good finally come out of all the blood and tears that we've shed in that stupid war. Democracy may be incidental to our reasons for going in there (which was supposed to be the search for the WMD that posed a threat to the U.S.), but wouldn't it be amazing if an effective democracy were to actually be implemented as a result of our invasion? I'm still not counting on this happening, but wouldn't it be nice...
Of course, I still don't understand where the list of candidates came from. Were all right wing fundamentalists stricken from the ballot? (I wish they would do that in this country) Anyway, from what I understand, many Iraqis wanted to vote for their religious leaders. I hope they get to pick whoever they want. Otherwise, we're back to a puppet government and Iraq has no true representation. Of course, truly free elections in Iraq could potentially lead to the installment of a new Ayatollah or something similar in Iraq. It's all so confusing.
Weekend was short and brutal. Not enough sleep and too much partying have left Jason battle weary on this Monday.
There may be a Crack resurgence on March 11th. The date is tentative. The location is tentative. Crack does not announce its shows months in advance. We are musical guerrillas who strike viciously and then fade away into the night. Further communiques will be forthcoming.
Bought the new Tom Waits album this weekend. Tom kicks much ass. Tom will show you fear in a handful of dust.
Penguins and porn stars are both cool....


Friday, January 28, 2005

The weekend is upon us. I will be practicing with the Mono E and, if the weather holds up, sleeping a lot. I will also be fighting for my right to party, but I fear a brutal defeat.

Now a note about our office.
Janet, our receptionist, is surly and short. She was nicknamed Elf a long time ago by an attorney who no longer works here becasue, "she laughs like a crazy little elf." In retaliation for her nickname, Elf refers to me as Shrek. I even have a Shrek doll in my office that Elf provided me with. Elf is pretty lazy and has a lot of attitude with the clients. She was fired from this very firm 4 or 5 times before being rehired for this tour of duty. She likes to make fun of Kelly, the office manager, but Kelly can't find anyone better suited for the job. She is, to present, our longest lasting receptionist. This is mostly because the insanity of the clients and our general office enviroment doesn't really stress Elf out. Mostly because Elf doesn't give a shit. Whatever. Like I said, she's our first receptionist to last more than a month or two, and she cracks us all up.

Sylvia is our paralegal. She is bilingual, and is really nice 90% of the time. Watch out for the other 10%. Sylvia is my office conscience, and she gets me to take care of all of the distasteful tasks which I would otherwise leave on the backburner until they became disasters. She is also the mother of Christian, a little kid who frequently serves as my office playmate and comrade in arms. Sylvia's fiancee, Rick, works as a sherriff's deputy at the jail and helps us out looking up information when no one else will.

Kelly is Travis' wife and our office manager. She handles the books and tells me when to bitch at clients about money. Kelly tends to get bored really easily, and likes to drum up office drama in order to remedy that. The drama ranges from practical jokes and office pranks to elaborate conspiracy theories and gossip about the clients. Kelly is also the one who yells at Travis when he needs yelling at about stuff.

Travis is our fearless leader. He's sort of the professorial, scholastic type, and he tends to get bogged down in researching legal minutia or exploring esoteric legal issues for hours and hours. Travis is a good guy, and he works hard, but he's definitely got some of the absent minded side to the professor in him. He's a good trial lawyer, and exudes a confidence in his positions which the clients are attracted to. He has absolutely no sense of time, and will spend vast amounts of time on whatever problem interests him, whether it's in court or on the computer. He also has a wicked record collection.

We also have a runner named Johnathan who told me yesterday that he may take a year off to work before attending college (he's a senior in high school). He's a good guy who's still trying to figure out who he wants to be and what he wants to do. I haven't warned him that this process is neverending.

Well that's it. Not sure why I felt the need to explain this stuff, except that it's never been done on here. We're a dysfunctional little family, but we spend a lot of time together, so I thought it might be worth mentioning.

Thursday, January 27, 2005

Damn, I missed a day. Oh well, sometimes the karmic deck is stacked against you, and yesterday was such a day. Crack was supposed to have practice, but Jeff broke his bass, Sigmund forgot his trombone, and Andy got there late. Some days negative forces align against you, and it's better to just retreat until the wheel of fortune turns in your favor.

I've been getting lots of feedback regarding Crack's performance last Saturday, and some of it has even been positive. Sort of. Kelly Gonzales, woman of mystery, said, "Crack wasn't as bad as I thought they would be." John Howard, who didn't even attend the gig, said, "I heard that Jeff Wilson has a filthy mouth. He's going to hell." Stephanie MacFarlane refused to comment on Crack, instead giggling and then running away when asked. D.K. Punzi, midget superlawyer said, "I thought you guys sounded ok, but it mighta been the booze."

It's raining cats and dogs here today, and I just feel like taking a little nap. This is one of those times when it sucks to be tall, because that little crawl space under my desk looks awfully inviting....

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

no time for bloggin' today, and not a lot to report, anyway. i do wish that all my prosecutor and defense attorney friends could get along better and play nice, though.

Monday, January 24, 2005

Well, fair readers, I don't think it's any exaggeration to say that Crack may have had the best debut performance of any rock band in rock and roll history. For those of you who missed it, you should be ashamed of yourselves and filled with regret at missing a moment of such monumental historical import.

I think that the Mono Ensemble was a little disappointed that some of the crowd had left before the end of our set, but it didn't bother us too much. We were playing the late set and we played for about two hours, and people stayed for a lot of it and seemed to have fun. Sure, Crack had a somewhat bigger draw, but Crack played earlier, it was a much-hyped first show for Crack, and Crack only had to keep people entertained for 5 relatively short songs. Also, Crack's first gig had that kind of freak show appeal that's just difficult for more traditional bands to compete with (and by traditional, I mostly mean bands that actually know how to play their instruments). Overall, I thought things went well for both bands.
I would like to take a second to thank our audience. Thanks to D.K. for bringing the girls and wearing her cowboy hat. Thanks to Andy's sister for videoing us (I wanna see that tape). Thanks to Gary Meyer and the Letdowns for recording us and making flyers. Thanks to Lastovica for reminding us how much we sucked, despite the applause. Thanks to the cute nanny girl for being cute. And a nanny. Thanks to the Mono E crew for supporting us (as always). Thanks to the guy who requested Free Bird and really meant it (for reminding us why sometimes it's better just to stay home and play at the house). And thanks to the Carousel Lounge for letting us play. God bless the Carousel.
Well, we hope to gig again soon, and we hope to see lots of smiling faces there. I'll let everyone know. All kidding aside, we really do appreciate everyone who came out. Peace, love, dope.


Friday, January 21, 2005

Mono Ensemble and Crack tomorrow night at the Carousel Lounge. Hope everyone can make it. Except grumpy people. They should stay home (you know who you are, grumpy people).

Happy birthday to Reed Shaw and Eric Gottula. They are two of the driving forces behind Mono E, and they both happen to share a birthday, which was yesterday (but I zoned).

I had 17 people in court this morning and Williamson County this afternoon. I'm pooped.

Had lunch with my favorite vertically challenged lawyer, D.K. Punzi, and we spent a lot of time discussing why everyone who works at the courthouse is crazy except us. We decided (as usual in these conversations) that most of the people who work at the courthouse are dysfunctional and burdened with foolish, twisted worldviews, except, of course, for us. Hopefully all of those mixed up people realize how lucky they are to work in our presence.

I have nothing else to report. I still have 2 more appointments with clients (one of which was supposed to involve Travis, who isn't here, so I have nothing to tell him about his case). I am about ready to kill some people if that's what it takes to make my getaway.


Thursday, January 20, 2005

Just got back from Williamson County. Man, they love to screw with people up there for smoking pot. I think I is going to have to have a trial up there purty soon.
My boss is on a hunting trip today. This means I am stuck covering for two people and driving through two counties while Travis drunkenly stumbles around in some East Texas briar patch looking for small animals to shoot. Life is odd.
Mono E practice tonight. God bless the Mono E, for they shall deliver us from the sounds of the musical poseurs.

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Well, I watched Unscripted last night with Jeff and Bart. Between this show and Entourage, I can only assume that Hollywood's love with itself is about to come full circle. Now they're making shows which are apparenrtly specifically designed for the same people who are making them. Soon the rest of the viewing audience can be cut out of the circle entirely. Who needs stories that take place in the rest of the world when we can just make shows about people making shows? This is some masturbatory shit. I know that all of these aspiring actors have supposedly suffered for their craft, but you know what- who cares? If they were struggling to become doctors or astronauts or even political leaders (anyone who is making an actual impact in the world), I might give a shit, but they're just struggling to join the cesspool of American Hollywood celebrity. They want money and fame. I see no reason why I should care one way or another if they get it.

In addition to that, Unscripted is not even a real documentary. If it were a real documentary, maybe I could bring myself to care about the characters on a personal level, but since this show seems to be mostly fictional, it even fails on that front. I guess some parts of it are supposedly real, but how much risk of failure can there be for aspiring actors who already have a film crew in tow when they show up for their auditions? Silliness...

On a more practical note, I had lunch with a couple of prosecutors who were debating the ethics of prosecuting an abuse case. It involved a cop as a victim and the cop wanted the case dropped. Normally victim input is considered, but is not determinative in abuse cases because the victim is often pressured by the abuser to drop the case (also, although the particular victim on a given case may have forgiven the abuser, the state has an interest in preventing the abuser from moving on and abusing new victims in future relationships). At any rate, these particular prosecutors were stuck in a kind of tricky position, since they were dealing with a "victim" who has theoretically been trained to identify and deal with domestic violence situations. Of course, there's a difference between knowing the textbook procedures for domestic violence as a police officer versus dealing with that situation in one's own home. At any rate, it was an interesting lunch time discussion, and I'm curious to see how things turn out.

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Shit. I just wrote a big long post about my MLK Day weekend, but then I accidentally erased it. New blog is shorter. Had Crack practice and was supposed to have Mono E practice, but Eric got a migraine and said it felt like his eyes were going to pop. Crack, rallying around the theme of "idiot confidence", is almost ready for the big gig. Rescued a frog from a fish store that had a geodesic dome. Jeff Wilson put the frog in the pond in his back yard. Had game night with people including Andy Sensat. Drunk Andy declared, "I hate you people and your giant stacks of money," and then knocked over all poker chips. Jason laughed very hard. Jeff Wilson was a wet blanket at karaoke time.
Visited with high school bandmate Corbin Supak. Corbin wanted to know if Erin Stuart was actually on Sale of the Century after fleeing from Westwood High School. Jason vows to find out. Corbin now plays with wife, Jennifer, in Portland band, The Vulturines.
Vikings lose, being bumped from NFL playoffs, and Reed Shaw is not seen for the remainder of MLK Day weekend.

I just remembered. I also met Mandy's brother and her sister in law. They seemed like pretty nice folks.

Friday, January 14, 2005

Friday before the 3 day weekend. Kickass.

I tried to watch Ju-on: The Grudge last night, but it really freaked me out. It's Japanese (I think they tried to do an American remake with Sarah Michelle Gellar), and it doesn't have a lot of blood and guts. It does, however, do a good job of conveying the horror that you feel when you see something which has no place in an ordered, rational universe. It's the kind of horror that you feel when you're not sure whether you're really seeing the impossible occurring or whether you're going mad and hallucinating (either option isn't especially good). The movie had me totally disoriented, not only because of the freaky things which happen in it, but also because of its disjointed narrative style.
As I said, I didn't make it all the way through, but I hope to finish it tonight. I just couldn't watch it right up until the time I went to bed or I knew I would have little Japanese ghost kids and living shadows plaguing my dreams all night.

And I would like to take a second to shout out mad props to the Reverend Martin Luther King. God bless that man not only for his dreams of equality, but for the way in which he went about seeing them fulfilled. Political revolution for civil rights through nonviolent means. That man was the closest thing to a saint that this country has probably ever produced, and in the end they killed him for it. Still, he accomplished a lot with the time that he had, and if I could go out fighting for a cause half as worthwhile, I would consider my life a success. America needs more people like him.

In the interest of trying to keep things interesting, I will disseminate one of my actual opinions which may or may not be controversial. People who insist upon living in areas which have been proven to be prone to natural disasters should not receive monetary assistance or relief from federal tax dollars. This means, if you keep rebuilding your house under a hill where there are mudslides, you do it at your own risk. This may not sound too controversial, but I also believe that my federal tax dollars shouldn't pay to rebuild California the next time there's an earthquake. There have been earthquakes there before, and experts say there will be more in the geologically near future, and next time they will be worse. I'm out, California. I don't want to rebuild your earthquake traps. I'm not saying you can't live out there, but I'm just saying I don't want to foot the bill for it. Same thing to you, Florida. You wanna live in a state that is bound to be devastated by hurricanes several times every decade- you're on your own.

Anyway, I know that some disasters will be unforseeable, and I'm ok with helping out when one of them is a surprise, but for the people who keep building where there are recurring, catastrophic problems- I wish you good luck and godspeed on your own.

Thursday, January 13, 2005

Hey. Everyone having a good day out there? I'm blogging from court today as I wait for a friend to go to lunch. It's wierd blogging from a county computer, left here for the prosecutors to use. Feels like I'm behind enemy lines.

Well, Crack is revved up for our gig on the 22nd. We are preparing ourselves mentally, physically, and spiritually to entertain you people.

In other news, I watched Lost again last night. Brother/sister love? Huh. Also, I'm tired of never getting a look at that island monster. Show us the island monster, I say!!

Work. My boss, Travis, has been trying a case for the last several days in which our client is accused of trying to flee the scene of a collision which he was involved in. Our client only drove 1/4 of a mile after the accident and then pulled over to use the phone to call 911. The trick of the matter is, our client is a cop (who was off duty), and the public perception in Austin at the moment is that cops are given preferential treatment when they are accused of violating the law. This may or may not be true, but this particular case is a really stupid one that should have been settled out of court with a dismissal or a ticket. Politics have forced a trial to occur which has taken a week and cost many thousands of dollars. Anyway, the jury is out in deliberations as I write this, so I don't know what the verdict will actually be.

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Word up, my chitlins. I went to bed last night at like 9:30 p.m., so I'm full of piss and vinegar today. Tonight is Crack practice. Crack is pretty much confirmed for November 22nd at the Carousel Lounge, by the way, so be there or be square. Actually, it really is important that some friends show up to see Crack, b/c we don't want the bar to be completely cleared out when we're done playing.
It will be an evening of magical entertainment- the musical explorations and permutations of Crack, followed by the tunes and improvisations of the Mono Ensemble. It's funny- I never thought that I would think of Mono E as structured, but compared to Crack...

What else....?
Hmmmm.....
Not much to report on. Maybe I'll think of more to write later. Maybe not.

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Since I went on a political rant yesterday, let me take things down a notch today with a look at 24, one of my favorite TV shows. 24 stars Kiefer Sutherland as Jack Bauer, an ass-kicking CTU agent (or former CTU agent, sort of) in Los Angeles. Regular viewers of the show have come to realize that Jack Bauer is willing to shoot just about anyone or anything to get the job done.

24 takes place in a slightly edgier parallel reality where American paranoia and Republican thinking make sense. On 24, murderous terrorist motives potentially lurk behind the peaceful facade of every immigrant family (and a few free thinking non-immigrants as well), women are particularly ruthless, and the chain of command between the military, the White House, and the nation's intelligence agencies runs smoothly and efficiently.

I think I like the show for the same reason that it's potentially disturbing. 24 plays into the American Gothic ideal- the belief or fear that depite the apparent normalcy of one's surroundings, there are things evil and dangerous which lie below the surface. The show is effective in that it plays on both our hopes and our fears that there is more to mundane American life than it appears. The battleground for 24 is very familiar, and it plays into the current American paranoia that we face enemies who are not only abroad, but walk among us as well.

It's also nice to believe for an hour each week that our nation's intelligence forces are highly capable, motivated, and efficient.

p.s.
subject: unrelated

Air conditioning has made us weak.

Monday, January 10, 2005

Weekend was uneventful. Went and saw The Life Aquatic, which inspired fellow moviegoer Andy Sensat to pledge himself to the purchase of "a vessel of exploration". Afterward we went to Casa de Wilson where we tried to invent new mixed drinks and tried to trick their wiener dogs into diving into their backyard pond. Not much success on either count.

I also had Mono Ensemble practice. I played only the bass and did very little singing. Frank returned to the band after his baby acquisition hiatus. This freed us up to play Radiohead's Go to Sleep and other Frank-critical numbers.

Mono Ensemble is tentatively scheduled to play at the Carousel Lounge on Saturday the 22nd. Crack is being considered for an opening slot. People's reactions range from amused to horrified when I tell them that Crack may be playing out at the Carousel. It's mostly the people who have heard us before who are horrified.

I listened to Rush Limbaugh today as I ate my lunch. Sometimes it's good to keep an eye on what the enemy is up to.
Without going into too much detail, it continues to amaze me that the American populace at large has adopted the Republican party as their representative. As I listen to Rush argue for greater import/export protections for the American pharmaceutical industry (in an industry which uses half of their research and development costs for advertisements of medications available only by prescription), I am once again stunned that the conservative right wing has managed to convince middle America that they're looking out for their best interests.
When I was a child, my grandfather, who worked in an iron ore mine, explained political parties to me by saying, "The Republicans are made up of mine owners and management. They want to make as much money as they can. The Democrats protect working people so they can still make enough money to make a living. They help to pass rules so we're safe when we're working down in the mine."
Now granted, this explanation is a bit of an oversimplification, but it has more than a grain of truth to it. Yet somehow the American people are convinced that the "liberal elite" in the Democratic party are trying to steal their money and give it away to unmotivated welfare leeches. I think that this partially has to do with an American population that wants to identify with the rich and has an increasing tendency to see the working or middle class as undesirable losers. America is all about Paris Hilton, Donald Trump, and MTV Cribs- not people struggling to feed and clothe their kids. Furthermore, America is scared- scared of changing social norms (e.g., gay rights), scared of rapidly changing technology and biotechnology (from stem cell research to internet porn), and desperately afraid of terrorists and attacks on the American way of life. We have retreated into a mindset of defensiveness and "traditional" values in order to deal with our rapidly changing world right at a time when technology, business, and world politics are pushing us faster and faster into an interconnected global community. We are trying to make the world safer by dominating other nations, at a time when technology has made it feasible for any jackass with a centrifuge and an incubator in his apartment to brew up biological weapons.
I'm not afraid of being a liberal. I don't think anyone should be worried about being branded a liberal, any more than one should worry about being branded a conservative. Liberals have made some (mostly) well intentioned missteps throughout history, but they've also had some little victories (like getting blacks the right to vote and passing child labor laws).

We need to practice politics of inclusion, not exclusion. We need to convince nations of our leadership and exercise force only in the case of clear violations of international law. We need to protect the rights of consumers and employees at least as much as the rights of corporations and manufacturers. We need to protect the interests of American workers as strongly as we protect the interests of our CEOs. We need to respect and honor our diversity and place a premium on human rights. Mostly, we need to stop being afraid.
That sure is a mouthful, but that Rush Limbaugh gets me fired up.

Friday, January 07, 2005

It's not easy coming up with something to write about in the blog every day. A lot of the stuff that I do each day is fairly mundane and not worth mentioning. Of course, I wonder if everyone feels that way. I wonder if someday there will be giant starships cruising between the galaxies, witnessing all kinds of black holes and supernovas and gas giants and alien space herds, and the captain's log entry will read, "Nothing new really happened today..."

I plan on seeing The Life Aquatic this weekend. Let's hope it doesn't suck because Wes Anderson is one of my last, best hopes for mankind.

Woke up this morning with Cassidy under my head, like a pillow. It didn't look comfortable for her, so she must have been just as tired as I was.

Thursday, January 06, 2005

I had scarecely any time in the office today, thus the absence of any kind of real blog entry. I did, however, have lunch with Travis County's triumvirate of justice- Kim Bloom, Rosa Theofanis, and Jennifer Kraber. These three lovely ladies are not only friends of mine, but some of the craftier prosecutors in the misdemeanor prosecution section of the Travis County Attorney's Office. You have to keep an eye on these three or they'll trick you into selling your clients down the river for far less than they're worth. Anyways, despite the fact that the three of them in combination have put my clients in jail for untold years of total jail time, I still find them amusing enough to occasionally allow them to buy me lunch.
We went to Romeos for lunch, and it was quite pleasant. Many faces from the courthouse could be seen dining in the dark corners of Romeos, and a couple of people even stopped by the table for a chat.
During lunch I learned that:
Apparently Rosa wants to throw a party sometime soon, but her aversion to planning events which may occur after her normal 8:00 p.m. bed time is causing problems for her.
I also learned that Jennifer has lately had a hankering to do some work with papier-mache (she has a real penchant for arts and crafts), and that Kim Bloom will not, I repeat not, be attending the 3 night Widespread Panic stand at Madison Square Garden at the end of the month. I also learned that Rosa has a subconscious fear/hatred of Wal-Mart which has led to dreams involving giant Wal-Mart trucks attempting to run down Rosa and her little Volvo on the freeway. Jennifer likes Target.
Well, that's it for today. Gotta go home for band practice. The Mono Ensemble is scheduled to commence rocking at 7:30.

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

Last night Weedo and I watched an episode of the Star Trek original series called "Arena" in which Kirk is forced to fight the reptilian Gorn in order to protect the lives of his crew. It's a good episode, but I think that the Gorn, with his constant hissing/growling and his creepy, sparkling eyes contributed to the dreams and nightmares that I mentioned in yesterday's blog. All night last night I was chased by Gorns, and I was pretty sure it was because I had done something to piss them off (I'm not sure what).

In other news, elections in Iraq seem to be proceeding well. It's always a good sign when the insurgents manage to assassinate the man who is supposed to be in charge of security for the elections (Col. Khalefeh Ali Hassan) and then kill the provincial governor of Baghdad (Ali Al-Haidri) all in one week, less than a month away from the elections.

http://www.cnn.com/2005/WORLD/meast/01/05/iraq.main/index.html

Now we're gonna send in 35,000 troops to safeguard the streets for the elections, but unless we're planning on leaving those troops there to guard the officials who are elected, I don't think these new Iraqi leaders are gonna have a very long tenure in office. Kudos once again to the Bush administration for thinking this whole thing out so thoroughly before the invasion.

And as if those kiddos at the White House didn't have their hands full trying to occupy Iraq long enough to pull off what most Arabs will undoubtedly consider to be a sham election, they have still managed to find the time to explore new ways of violating universal human rights!

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/01/05/politics/05gonzales.html?hp&ex=1104987600&en=ffaa199669f32a7e&ei=5094&partner=homepage

Torture. It's not just for terrorists anymore. It's a good thing those Iraqis have us arround to show them the light and save them from their barbaric ways.

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Man, there ain't too much to report on today. I've been noticing that I've been dreaming a lot lately, or at least remembering more of my dreams than I usually do. I haven't necessarily been dreaming about any one thing, but I've been noticing themes where I have to get some task accomplished or achieve some goal within a certain time, often against a backdrop of impending evil. Things tend to shift quite frequently in my dreams, and people and places are rarely what they initially seem. Only last week, my mother grew the body of a big, white bird and the head of an iguana (wearing some kind of tiara), and proceeded to spout Bible verses at me. All of this as my brother, Jamie, and I were searching for a hidden passageway within a set of Victorian houses built along a seaside cliff. Another dream involved me looking for what I believed to be a magic ant eater within a large building made entirely of unpainted wood. People in the building were laughing at me, but they clearly didn't understand the importance of the ant eater.

Well, enough about that. It's been said that there's nothing less interesting than having to hear about other people's dreams.


Monday, January 03, 2005

first day back

This is the first day back at work following the holidaze. I have to leave for Williamson County in a couple of minutes. I've got a sentencing on a DWI case up there.

Hopefully I can write more later, but New Year's was pretty fun. The band and FOB (Friends of the Band) came over to drink wine (and tequila, and beer, and whiskey, and...), eat cheese, and be merry. I'm not ashamed to say that karaoke was involved. OK, maybe I'm a little ashamed.
At some point in the evening I have a hazy memory of rock god Eric Gottula demonstrating the breakdancing crowdpleaser, "The Caterpillar", on my back patio. Both forward and backward caterpillar motions were demonstrated.

Also, kudos to the Texas Longhorns beating Michigan in the Rose Bowl and actually not disappointing their fans for once. Way to not suck, Longhorns!

Gotta run. I have clients to sacrifice on the pyre of Georgetown redneck justice.

And I'm back. Wow, that was fun. In retrospect, I guess they're not that bad on DWI clients in Georgetown. Makes sense, though. Drinking beer is like some kinda redneck Olympic sport. Get caught up there with a joint and they'll put the hurt on you, though.

Also in the news, Jeff Wilson, AKA Crackbass, is a little under the weather, so let's all wish him well (or at least not laugh at him... or at least not laugh at him to his face). Jeff went out to a friend's ranch this weekend to do some hunting and fishing and ended up getting sick. I strongly suspect that this is divine retribution for killing things for entertainment (although I think Crackbass claims to have employed the catch and release method while fishing and to have not spotted any animals to shoot). At any rate, Steanso is a strong believer that the only thing you should kill for entertainment is time.

Also at this time I would like to voice my displeasure with Amazon.com, who have profoundly f#%ked up my brother's Christmas order. I received notice AGAIN today that his order has been delayed, even though the order was placed Dec. 11th. It's real chickenshit, and if I weren't such a lazy, lazy human being who detests the post office, I would cancel my order. On the other hand, Ryan will be having the best MLK Day present windfall ever.
C'mon, Amazon- how hard is it to package and send a bunch of coal, anyway?