The enormity of the disaster with the tsunamis in the far east has finally hit me. I mean, I know the death toll has likely exceeded 40,000 in 8 countries, but now this?
I mean, sure, I already knew that this whole thing was, like a tradgedy or whatever, but up to this point I had thought that most of the people who died were unattractive and poor. But can someone tell me what kind of a world we live in when God can just reach out and strike down beautiful, rich people like supermodel Petra Nemcova and her photographer boyfriend? (not really sure of that dude's name b/c he's not really that famous) I mean, sure, it sucks that all of these other people died, but I mean, let's face it, they were probably going to die sooner or later after being attacked by a wild boar or getting the bird flu or something like that anyways. People who live in that part of the world seem to always be dropping like flies from civil war or malaria or something.
Petra, on the other hand, is in the prime of her life and deserves to be perched on a tsunami-proof yacht or something. I mean, this woman has brought joy to untold millions through her work with the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit corporation.
Now I suggest that everyone whoever mastrubated or planned on mastrubating to a Petra Nemcova Sports Illustrated layout get out your wallet and send that woman a couple of dollars. I know it's your hard earned cash, but this is an emergency, and generosity is probably the only thing separating us from the monkeys, commies, and other lower life forms. Make sure you send the money care of Sports Illustrated so it doesn't get wasted on those ugly people. Sure, Petra's got money, but if she has to pay her own medical bills, she'll have less cash, and that really isn't fair.
This guest blog provided by Ryan Steans.